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(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(WIND HOWLING)
(PANTING)
Sir, shoals on every side.
Sand or reef, I cannot say.
Captain, the Malay pirates have us cornered.
We must surrender.
Surrendering my father's ship
will not guarantee survival, Mr Phelps.
Shallow water.
Dead ahead, full sails!
MR PHELPS: Captain! The ship will run aground.
It's impossible!
You know my views on that word, Mr Phelps.
Full sails. Full sails!
Full sails, boys.
Full sails!
Hard to port, Harper!
Turning to port at full sail will tip us over.
Exactly!
(ALL SCREAMING)
BOATSWAIN: Lads, get those sails down!
We haven't got all day!
ALICE: Hold on, everyone!
MR PHELPS: It's too shallow.
(WILL STRUGGLING)
We need full sails!
MR PHELPS: Will! Hold on, lad!
WILL: Help!
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(GRUNTING)
- (WILL GASPING) - (ALICE CONTINUES GRUNTING)
(GASPS)
MR PHELPS: She's going over.
(WILL SCREAMING)
(ALICE GRUNTS)
- MR PHELPS: Hold on, boys! - (GROANING)
Hold on, lads!
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(GRUNTS)
(WILL SCREAMING)
BOATSWAIN: You did it, Captain!
(MEN CHEERING)
(ALICE SIGHS)
The only way to achieve the impossible
is to believe it is possible.
Set a course for London, Harper.
Our work here is done.
MR PHELPS: Splice the mainbrace, lads!
We're going home!
(TICKING)
(TICKING STOPS)
(BLOWING WHISTLE)
BOATSWAIN: Captain ashore.
Captain.
- Mother. - Well...
Here you are.
Finally.
Miss Kingsleigh?
You and the Wonder have been expected for over a year.
There were complications.
Pirates and such.
The ledgers are in my cabin.
And would you please let Lord Ascot know I should like to see him immediately.
I'm afraid Lord Ascot passed away whilst you were at sea.
The title's been passed on to his son.
- Hamish? - Indeed.
Now chairman of the board.
How unfortunate.
(DRIVER URGING HORSES)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
HELEN: Your letters were so infrequent.
I hardly know where you've been all this time.
Mother, China's incredible.
We followed the Yangtze deep into the interior.
Most of the people had never seen
a person with yellow hair before.
- Were you never afraid? - Of course.
But, when I was, I thought of Father.
You sound just like him.
I miss him.
I do, too.
But the years pass quickly for me now.
Time is a cruel master.
Time is a thief. And a villain.
I hear the Ascots are marking Hamish's succession tonight.
Perfect.
We should go.
I'm afraid the invitation must have been lost in the post.
Nonsense. Lady Ascot once said we would always be welcome.
Besides, I have a proposition for Hamish.
Hamish married last year, Alice.
He seems to have got over your public rejection.
A business proposition, Mother.
You're leaving again?
So soon?
There are matters here which might benefit from your attention.
After my next voyage...
you won't have to worry about anything.
Am I permitted to worry about tonight?
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(FOOTMEN CLEARING THROATS)
(GASPS)
I do wish you'd worn that yellow dress.
(SIGHS) If it's good enough for the Dowager Empress of China...
then it's good enough for the Ascots.
Must you always be so headstrong?
No. It's just more fun that way.
(SIGHS)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
(CLASSICAL MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
- FEMALE GUEST 1: What is she wearing? - MALE GUEST 1: It's the Kingsleigh girl.
FEMALE GUEST 2: Excuse me.
- MALE GUEST 2: Outrageous. - MALE GUEST 3: Circus performer.
Miss Kingsleigh?
What are you doing here?
I've come to give my report to Lord Ascot.
Right.
Well, follow me.
(BABY CRYING)
Helen.
What a surprise.
Alice. Well. Welcome home.
We were afraid you might never come back with our ship.
My ship. Hello, Hamish.
It's proper to refer to my husband as Lord Ascot.
That is why we're having this little soirée after all.
Miss Kingsleigh, this is my wife, Alexandra.
The new Lady Ascot.
Hamish tells me you've travelled the world these last three years.
Yes. I've just returned.
Well, then how was it?
The world?
Yes.
Highly enjoyable. You should visit it sometime.
(JAMES SNICKERING)
(CLEARS THROAT)
ALICE: Apologies for the intrusion, Lord Ascot...
but I've come to give my report.
Of course.
Follow me, Miss Kingsleigh.
And you, Mr Harcourt.
(SIGHS)
Gentlemen, might I introduce Miss Alice Kingsleigh.
Miss Kingsleigh, the board.
Good evening, gentlemen.
The world has opened to us, but we must move quickly.
It is my belief that further expeditions
along the Wu River...
I'm sorry, Miss Kingsleigh.
There will be no further expeditions.
What?
Now, there is a position in our clerking office.
You will start in files...
but in time...
This isn't about China, is it?
It's because I turned you down when you asked me to marry you.
(BOARD MEMBERS CLEARING THROATS)
I am sorry, Miss Kingsleigh, but this is all that we can do for you.
No other company is in the business of hiring female clerks.
Let alone ship's captains.
(MEN LAUGHING)
You can't do this.
I own 10% of the company.
Your father set those shares aside for me.
Oh, correction.
He gave them to your mother...
who sold them to me a year ago, while you were gone.
Along with the bond on the house.
Her house?
The bond we will redeem against your ship.
But that was my father's ship.
Indeed.
Sign over the vessel...
and you will redeem the house.
Report to work Monday morning...
and you will receive a salary and a pension.
And give up the Wonder?
Otherwise, we cannot help you.
Or your mother.
(SIGHS)
Alice.
Alice!
ALICE: How could you sell our shares?
Everything I do is for you, Alice.
So you can make a decent start in life.
Five minutes ago I was a sea captain.
A sea captain is no job for a lady.
Time is against you, and you're being careless with it.
I once believed I could do as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
That is a child's dream, Alice.
The Wonder is just a ship.
It's not just a ship.
It's Father's ship.
Everything he loved.
Everything I love.
He never would have let this happen.
Well, he's not here any more!
You can't just make things however you want them to be.
Every woman must face that, Alice.
I've had to.
Well, the last thing I want is to end up like you.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Sign over the Wonder?
And give up on the impossible?
Then who will I be?
ABSOLEM: You're Alice, of course.
Absolem?
Absolem.
She had spent months up river.
Dressed like she'd gone native.
Of course, it's known to do strange things to a man's mind, let alone a woman's.
- Wait! - HAMISH: Just like her father.
A great man, no doubt, but one touched in the head.
It appears the apple has not fallen far from the tree.
(MEN LAUGHING)
(WINGS FLUTTERING)
(GASPS)
Absolem.
(GASPS)
Curious.
(DOORKNOB RATTLES)
GUARD 1: It's locked! Someone's in there.
- Who's in there? - GUARD 2: Who's in there?
You're trespassing! This room is out of bounds!
GUARD 1: Someone get the key!
Lord Ascot, there's someone in your father's study.
(CLOCK TICKING)
Curiouser and curiouser.
- (BUGLE PLAYS IN THE DISTANCE) - (TIGER ROARS)
(HORSE NEIGHS)
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
(PIG SNORTING)
(GRUNTS)
(SNORTS)
(WHINNIES)
(ALICE GASPS)
Ooh.
Oh, no, not again!
(YELPING)
(SCREAMING)
All my horses. All my men. To the rescue.
(CHESS PIECES CHATTERING)
All the pieces together first, chaps.
In a pile, over here.
HUMPTY DUMPTY: How do I look? Tell me. I can take it.
CHESS PIECE 1: He's not all he's cracked up to be.
CHESS PIECE 2: He's a mere shell of a man.
Oh, please. You always make that joke.
Don't you mean "yolk"?
CHESS PIECE 3: Get some new material.
HUMPTY DUMPTY: I would be most grateful...
Sorry.
ABSOLEM: Clumsy as always, and twice as dim.
I thought you'd never get the idea.
ALICE: Oh, Absolem.
Excuse me, young lady. We'll be needing that.
HUMPTY DUMPTY: Oh, you all disgust me.
You've been gone too long, Alice.
And he will be gone before long.
Who will be gone?
What has happened?
All will become clear in the fullness of Time.
For now, hurry.
Oh...
And do mind your step.
(ALICE SHRIEKING)
(BIRDS SQUAWKING)
- Hey! - (SCREAMS)
(CONTINUES SHRIEKING)
(GROANS)
(PANTING)
(CREATURES LAUGHING)
- BAYARD: Alice. - McTWISP: Oh, Alice.
Thank goodness you're finally here.
It's that girl again.
(MALLYMKUN LAUGHING)
TWEEDLEDUM: Alice.
You're back.
(ROARING)
(McTWISP YELPING)
(PANTING)
Don't be nice to her.
She's late.
Have I come at a bad time?
MIRANA: On the contrary.
We were afraid you weren't coming at all.
What's the matter?
The Hatter's the matter.
Or the matter of the Hatter.
- The former. - No, the latter.
- Mmm... - Tweedles?
BOTH: He's mad.
The Hatter?
- Mmm. - Mmm.
Yes, I know.
That's his muchness.
That's what makes him so...
him.
But he's grown darker...
less dafter.
Denies himself laughter.
And no scheme of ours can raise any sort of smile.
We rather hoped you might help us save him.
What happened?
There was a great storm.
We ventured out into
the Tulgey Woods to investigate.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Come, quadruped.
Fetch!
Your turn!
(HATTER BARKING)
THACKERY: Fetch, doggy.
BAYARD: Hatter was perfectly hatterish.
Until...
that blue paper hat...
somehow put him in mind...
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
...of his family's tragedy,
Slain by the Jabberwocky, on Horunvendush Day...
many years ago.
He's just not himself any more.
But, if anything could bring the Hatter back,
it would be seeing you again.
- Oh, yes. - BAYARD: Indeed.
Well, where is he?
Uh...
(PANTING)
HATTER: Go away!
You can't come in.
Hatter, it's me.
Alice.
You're you.
And you're here.
You are you, aren't you?
Yes, Hatter.
Good.
You're the only one.
But you've always been Alice.
And that's how I know you'll believe me.
I've missed you, Hatter.
It's my family, Alice.
Your family?
Yes.
My family.
Lost for many years.
(WHISPERS) Or so I thought.
Look.
I found this.
The first hat I ever made.
I thought I'd tossed it away long, long ago.
It's impossible for it to be here, and yet...
here it is.
So if this hat survived...
my family must have too.
But, Hatter, that's...
I thought I wasn't worthy of the Hightopp name.
Very serious man, my father.
We had a terrible fight.
I never said I was sorry when I had the chance.
But this means...
that I can make things right.
Hatter...
your family, uh...
You...
do believe me, don't you, Alice?
I want to. I...
Hatter!
You're not well.
What can I do?
Of course.
My Alice...
could bring my family back to me.
Oh, but...
Hatter, the thing is...
your family died.
Long ago.
You told me so yourself.
No one can bring them back.
No one but you.
I'm sorry.
But it's...
It's impossible.
(GASPS)
You...
are not you.
Hatter, please.
Get out.
I don't know who you are.
You're not my Alice.
My Alice would believe me.
- (SIGHS) - (BANGS ON DOOR)
Hatter!
(HATTER WHEEZING)
- (BANGING CONTINUES) - Hatter, please!
Please!
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
We must do something.
He's so terribly ill.
I fear he's...
dying.
McTWISP: Oh, dear.
- Oh, dear. Oh, dear. - (CREATURES WHIMPERING)
BAYARD: No...
We can't lose him, Alice. We can't.
He said, to make him better, I must bring his family back.
But that...
cannot be.
Unless it could.
- What? - Oh.
(GASPS)
Unless there was a way.
No, no, no. You mustn't. You mustn't.
What is it?
It is dangerous. Perilous. It is too much to ask!
What is it?
Alice.
You must travel back in time.
Oh, no.
Go back into the past and save the Hatter's family.
If the Hatter's delusion is made true...
...then he would be made well again.
- Go back in time? - Hmm.
But how?
The Chronosphere.
I'm sorry, the Chrono-what?
McTWISP: The Chronosphere.
The source that powers the Grand Clock of All Time.
Legend has, it also lets one travel
across the Ocean of time.
None of us can use it because
we've already been in the past.
And if your past self sees your future self...
What happens?
There is no history of it happening.
But it is said that if it were to happen...
everything would be history.
That sounds very dangerous.
It is. Extremely so.
Because you're not from here, only you can use it, Alice.
It's not impossible...
merely...
un-possible.
Got ya!
Hatter is my truest friend.
If he's in need, I will help him.
No matter what.
(ALL CHEERING)
McTWISP: Oh, Alice!
- So brave. - I knew she'd help us.
Where exactly is this Chronosphere?
In the hands of Time. It's his.
I'm sorry. Time is a he?
He lives in a void of infinitude,
in a castle of eternity.
Through here, one mile past the pendulum.
(ALL GASPING)
(WIND WHOOSHING)
McTWISP: Very cold.
Find Time's castle, borrow the Chronosphere...
travel back in time to Horunvendush Day...
save the Hatter's family from being killed,
and thereby save the Hatter.
And do try not to break the past, present, or future.
Shh!
I was only trying to help.
- BOTH: What could go wrong? - (GASPING)
(McTWISP BREATHING HEAVILY)
Fairfarren, Alice.
Hatter's counting on you.
We all are.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(YELPS)
(PANTING)
(GROANS)
(YELPS)
(GATE OPENS)
(ECHOING) Hello?
Anybody here?
(RUSTLING)
Hello?
(SCREAMS)
(TICKING)
(CLOCKS SQUEAKING)
(CONTINUES TICKING)
Whoa...
(GASPS)
(TIME GROANS)
Stupid me-shaped corridor.
(BELL TOLLS)
(TIME SIGHS)
Will this day never end?
It clings to me like a pair of sweaty pantaloons.
(GASPS)
Who has stopped?
Who has ticked...
their last tock?
Tocked...
their last tick?
(SIGHS)
Ah.
Brilliam...
Hinkle.
(HEART BEATING)
Brilliam Hinkle.
Your time is up.
- (GROANS) - (GASPS)
(GASPS)
Hmm.
Let's put you away, Mr Hinkle...
...in the right place, like alphabetical order.
(MUTTERING)
Ah, Higgens.
Highbottom.
Not here yet.
Highturn.
Highview, Himmelby.
Ah, Hinkle.
I hope you were happy.
I hope you used your time well.
Good night.
- (GATE CREAKS) - (GASPS)
Hmm?
Who is there?
I saw you.
How did you get in?
It is impossible.
Come out, you little, wriggling worm!
Oh.
- It's a girl. - Please, sir.
I'm sorry to disturb you...
but if I could just have a moment of your time.
(CHUCKLES) Time?
Young lady...
I am...
Time.
The infinite...
the eternal...
the immortal...
the immeasurable.
Unless you have a clock.
So, being Time...
I must give some of myself...
for you to have me.
Are you following what I'm saying?
Yes.
Really? Oh.
Do you promise to be concise?
Well, I can most...
Because if there's one thing I do not like, it is...
people who are unable, unwilling, or, um...
Un...
Un... Uh...
uncompelled to form short sentences.
My friend is in mortal danger.
Enough of your incessant jabbering!
I have important work to do.
Please!
You haven't answered my question.
One minute.
Why do you carry that fallen soldier in your pocket?
Reveal him now.
He is broken.
Kaput.
It was my father's. I would never part with it.
Everyone parts with everything eventually, my dear.
Behold.
The magnificent Grand Clock of All Time.
He is me, and I am he...
and all that was or ever shall be.
I thought up that poem.
(CLOCKS SQUEAKING)
Now, remember. Look lively, everyone.
Ah, Wilkins!
Shoulders back, eyes forward.
How is, uh, my invincible machine, hmm?
- Well, it's... Oh. - Silence!
You will speak when you are spoken to.
- He was spoken to. - Nonsense!
The machine, Wilkins.
How is it?
Um...
(SQUEAKING)
ALICE: Hello.
And who might you be?
These miniscule artisans are my Seconds.
ALICE: Curious!
And I suppose every Second counts.
Count? I wish.
They are rather stupid.
(WHINING)
That was rude of me.
- I'm sorry. - (COOING)
I told you. Imbeciles.
Come on.
(GRUNTS)
So, your question.
What is it? You have exactly one minute.
It's about the Hatter...
Tarrant Hightopp. He's a great friend of mine.
And recently he's convinced that
his long-deceased family is still alive.
And, of course, his family cannot really be alive...
because you see, the Jabberwocky killed his family on the Horunvendush Day...
and I killed the Jabberwocky on the Frabjous Day...
and I'd like your permission to borrow the Chronosphere.
- It is imperative that... - Ah.
The Chronosphere.
That wasn't a minute.
You want to borrow it.
Loan it.
Purloin it.
Yes.
You ask...
to disintegrate history.
The Chronosphere powers the Grand Clock.
But I need it.
Without it, the Hatter may never get better.
- And I have to... - Wilkins!
Wilkins!
(GRUMBLING) Stupid door.
Did you call, sir?
Wilkins, please remove this, uh...
yellow-haired kindergartener, here.
Immediately, sir!
No interlopers!
Thank you for your you, sir.
WILKINS: Come along, come along.
My what?
For your Time.
Young lady...
you cannot change the past.
Though I dare say,
you might learn something from it.
WILKINS: Come on, you!
(SIGHS) This next generation.
Now, back the way you came, miss.
All the way to the end.
- Auf Wiedersehen. - (HORN BLOWING)
- (GASPS) Oh. Uh... - TIME: Wilkins!
Yes, sir!
TIME: She's here! My liebchen is here!
Coming, sir!
Hurry! Quick!
All right. Here we go. Ding, ding!
Seconds out! Seconds out!
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(ALICE GASPS)
(WILKINS PANTING)
Oh. Ah!
WILKINS: Get back.
Stay in line. Stay in line!
(IRACEBETH CLEARS THROAT)
Your Highness.
IRACEBETH: Your Majesty!
WILKINS: Majesty!
My lord is expecting you in the parlour.
Shall I announce you?
Oh, no mind! I'll announce myself.
(BLOWS HORN)
Tick Tock! Where are you?
- Tick Tock! - (SNIFFS)
Coming, my love!
Present!
Of course.
My darling...
may I say that your head is looking very, very big today.
Hmm.
Oh.
I present you with a gift made entirely out of love.
And also a little bit of metal and wood, of course.
I know how you love the tiny things. Hmm?
- (MECHANISM WINDING) - (MUSIC BOX PLAYING)
Oh.
Hmm.
Ooh! Ahh!
(SIGHS)
I'll treasure it forever.
Oh. Good!
Hmm?
(SOBBING)
Oh, dear.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
The Chronosphere.
- What troubles you, my dear? - (CONTINUES SOBBING)
You know what it is that I desire.
But, my love, I have done so much for you already.
Yes, yes, that's all very well.
But don't you see?
That...
with my big brain...
and your...
little Chronosphere...
I could get even with my sister.
(GASPS)
And we could rule the past, the present, and the future.
You ask the impossible, my dear.
I cannot give you the Chronosphere.
You would if you loved me.
No one loves me.
No one fears me.
But I do love you.
Hmm? Kiss?
Oh, no.
Oh... (GAGS)
(GRUNTS)
The Grand Clock!
(WILKINS GASPS)
TIME: Wilkins!
Right behind you, sir!
- Tick Tock! - Hmm?
(SECONDS TICKING RAPIDLY)
(SECONDS TICKING SLOWLY)
(ROARING)
Seconds into Minutes.
(PANTING)
Tick Tock!
Don't abandon me when I'm sulking!
(GASPS)
(ROARS)
(TIME PANTING)
(GROANS)
(GROANING)
What's the matter with you?
- The Chronosphere. - (GASPS)
Alice.
(GASPS)
No!
Stop her!
(GROWLING)
Stop her, you imbeciles!
(GASPS)
Which idiot labelled that?
You did, my lord.
Thank you for admitting your mistake.
- Idiot! - (TIME WHIMPERS)
How do I work this?
(GASPS)
TIME: Halt! Stop!
Stop, you little mouse!
No. No!
(ALL SCREAMING)
(GASPS)
HUMPTY DUMPTY: How do I look? Tell me. I can take it.
CHESS PIECE: He's a mere shell of a man.
ALICE: It's like a ship.
Dead ahead.
HATTER: Come, quadruped. Fetch!
Hatter!
Don't worry, Hatter.
I'll save you and your family.
IRACEBETH: Alice?
The Alice?
Slayer of my Jabberbabywocky?
Oh.
(STAMMERS ANGRILY)
The very reason why I have been
banished from my kingdom?
That Alice?
Idiot!
I want her head!
(GROANS)
(TIME BREATHING HEAVILY)
Are you all right, sir?
It has begun.
Without the Chronosphere...
the Grand Clock will break down.
Time myself will stop...
and all in Underland will perish.
Did you say perish?
Wilkins, you must keep the Grand Clock ticking.
Me? I said that out loud, didn't I?
I mean, of course, sir.
And I must find the kindergartner.
- (ALL WHIMPERING) - Oh, my goodness!
(NERVOUSLY) What's happening?
She must have the Chronosphere.
Take care, dear Alice. All our hopes fly with you.
(CHILDREN LAUGHING)
Horunvendush Day!
(GASPS)
(SCREAMING)
TIME: Aha!
You!
Give me what is mine!
Give it back...
or there will be none of me left.
Come back!
You cannot win in a race against Time.
I am inevitable!
(SINGING IN OTHER LANGUAGE)
(LAUGHS)
(ALICE SCREAMS)
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
(SCREAMS)
(ALICE SCREAMING)
(GROANS)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
(CHILDREN PLAYING)
Hatter?
Oh!
It's you!
You're you again!
Well, if I'm not, I wish I was.
- Have we met? - Yes!
Well, no. I mean, not yet.
It's funny...
I feel like I should know you.
Well, we have met once, when I was younger.
I'm afraid I don't recall.
That's because it hasn't happened yet.
- Oh, when will it happen? - Years from now.
When you're older.
I'll meet you when you're younger and I'm older?
I realise it doesn't make much sense.
Makes perfect sense to me.
I'm Tarrant.
I know. I'm Alice.
Alice, you seem to have time all mixed up.
Oh, he's not mixed up at all.
Actually he's quite angry with me.
You're bonkers, aren't you? Huh.
That's what I've been told.
All the best ones are.
Listen, I know it sounds strange,
but I need to find your family.
Oh, well, you're in luck. Right this way.
- (APPLAUSE) - (TRUMPETS PLAYING)
(LAUGHING) Wonderful!
- Indeed. - Hmm.
Congratulations, dear Mirana, on your coming of age.
And now...
the heir.
The crown for the Princess Iracebeth.
(MIRANA APPLAUDING)
Ignorant peasants.
Hmm.
(SNICKERS)
- (CHUCKLES) - IRACEBETH: Quiet!
What are you doing, you idiot?
(ALL MURMURING)
IRACEBETH: (WHISPERS) Put it on my head!
You're making me look stupid.
Get on with it!
You incompetent imbecile!
(ALL GASP)
(HATTER LAUGHING)
(ALL LAUGHING)
Silence!
The next person who laughs will never laugh again!
Oh.
QUEEN ELSEMERE: Iracebeth, please!
However would you stop people from laughing?
- Uh, put a bag on her head. - (ALL LAUGHING)
Put a bag on your head!
Put a bag on all of your heads!
Yes! We'll sew up your lips...
carve your tongues,
cut off your ears, off with you!
Just off, off, off with their...
Off with their...
Iracebeth, enough!
(PANTING)
Iracebeth...
I had always hoped...
that you would one day show the necessary qualities to become the queen...
you were born to be.
I realise now that day will never come.
People of Witzend...
upon my death...
my crown will pass...
to the Princess Mirana.
(ALL GASP)
Huh?
Father, no.
But that's not fair!
I'm the eldest!
You are unfit to rule, Iracebeth.
I hate you.
I hate you all!
(ALL GASPING)
(GRUNTS)
Oh!
And I shall not ever forget you,
you sniggering Hightopps!
No, I shall wreak a terrible revenge!
Vile.
- Slow. - Racie.
Oh, don't "Racie" me!
You started it.
(WHISPERS) Why don't you tell them the truth?
I didn't think so.
(SOBS) No one loves me.
No one loves me!
- Racie. - Iracebeth!
(ALL MURMURING)
If you are to be a hatter worthy of the Hightopp name...
you must be sane, sober, disciplined.
Everything you now are not!
ALL: Oh.
All I did was laugh, Father.
Couldn't help it.
Her head is rather voluminous.
You cost the princess her crown!
Do you know what this means to us?
Why am I never good enough for you?
Why are you always such a disappointment to me?
There. You've said it.
You've said it, Father.
Well, if I'm such a disappointment...
I don't suppose you'll be sorry if I leave home.
TYVA: No.
Tarrant!
My hat please, Mom.
Tarrant.
- Zanik. - No.
Please. Tell him to stay.
Zanik, please.
CHESSUR: Tarrant.
THACKERY: Tarrant?
ALICE: Hatter!
Hatter. Wait.
I am no hatter.
Of course you are. You're the Hatter.
Or you will be at least when I knew you.
(CHUCKLES)
You should meet my friend Thackery.
He's nearly as mad as you.
Won't you join us for some tea?
Hatter, please.
You must go back to your family.
What do you know of my family?
They're in danger.
You have to warn them about Horunvendush Day.
No idea what you're talking about.
But if my father sent you to change my mind, you won't!
If you don't go now and reconcile,
you'll be sorry. I know you will.
Maybe later.
I lost my father.
And I miss him every day.
If you walk away now,
you will lose your father, too.
It's forever for me.
But it doesn't have to be forever for you.
You can still get him back,
and then you'll really be you again.
And a hatter just like him.
The last thing I want is to end up like my father.
(SIGHS)
Tarrant, wait!
Your family will be lost
and you will have done nothing to stop it!
Fine. I'll warn them myself.
Mr Hightopp.
If I could just have a moment of your time...
there's something terribly important
you should know about.
MIRANA: Mr Hightopp.
Our apologies.
You know of my sister's misfortune.
Uh, no apologies necessary, Your Highness.
All of Witzend laments the day of your sister's accident.
Fell Day, as the clock struck 6.
I shall never forget that snowy night when she hit her head in the town square.
She and I had...
That moment changed everything.
But if that moment never happened...
there'd be no Horunvendush Day.
Hatter would be saved!
Excuse me.
Who was that strange girl?
WILKINS: Oh, dear.
Don't worry, men. We can do this!
(SECOND SCREAMS)
Just not with him.
(THACKERY AND MALLYMKUN LAUGHING)
Cheer up, Tarrant.
We'll have fun now that you're living here.
(GULPS) It's tea time!
BOTH: (SINGING) Twinkle, twinkle little bat
How I wonder where you're at
- Up above the... - (LOUD BOOM)
- (ALL GASP) - (TIME SCREAMING)
(GASPS)
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
- Ugh. - Oh.
Ow.
Hmm?
Ah...
Who's he?
- Greetings, Underlings. - (WHIMPERS)
I am Time.
The infinite and immortal.
The personification of time itself.
I know you may find this concept
a little bit hard to digest...
but please keep your bewilderment brief and to the point.
THACKERY: Your Majesty.
MALLYMKUN: Nice to meet you, sir.
Hmm.
I seek a thief of meagre intellect.
Her hair...
Yes?
Yellowish.
Her name...
Alice.
And what is your business with her?
She took something from me.
I will not say what it was. It's not important.
It is a trifle.
I don't see why you are making such a fuss.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) It is as nothing.
I must have it back.
But not that I'm concerned.
- Uh, uh, uh... - As soon as possible.
Either way, I'm fine with the outcome. Hmm?
Give it to me. Who knows about it?
Hmm.
Hmm?
Well, you are in luck, oh, timely one.
Because just today...
I invited Alice to tea.
- Wait. What's an Alice? - Shush!
Why don't you have a seat...
and we can wait together.
There's no room at the table.
- Shh. - No room. No room.
(GRUNTS)
Plenty of room.
- Tea for our guest. - Ha! Tea time!
(LAUGHING)
MALLYMKUN: We're having such a lovely Time here.
Oh. Would ya like a scone?
Scone.
- No. - HATTER: So...
if you are really Time itself,
yourself, or whatever suchness you claim...
Scone. Scone.
...perhaps you can answer me this.
I have always wondered when "soon" is.
If you vex me, it will be an eternity.
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
YOUNG IRACEBETH: No! It's not fair! It's not fair!
TODDLER TWEEDLEDEE: He really reminds me of someone.
I can't think who.
I think he looks a little bit like you, Brother.
Nonsense! He's hideous.
He looks more like you.
- Come back! - (BAYARD BARKING)
CHESSUR: Hey, Tarrant.
Tarrant. Watch this.
Now you see me. Now you...
Wait a moment. Wait a moment. Don't!
(ALL GASP)
BOTH: Where'd the cat go?
- Ow. - Gotcha!
Hmm. Have at you.
Contrariwise, have at you.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
BOTH: Huh?
(BOTH WAILING)
(CLOCK CHIMING)
ALICE: It's nearly 6.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
YOUNG HATTER: Hello.
You have a very nice head.
Thank you.
And a nice head deserves a very nice hat.
That's what my father says.
He makes the best hats in Witzend.
Would you like him to make you one?
Come on. He can make any hat.
A bonnet or boater, dunce hat, fez,
a cloche, coif, snood, barboosh, or pugree.
You're eating all the tarts.
- You can have the crusts. - I don't want the crusts.
QUEEN ELSEMERE: If you can't get along...
there'll be no more tarts for either of you.
Now, out of my kitchen.
Scat!
Is it true that you heal all wounds?
- (MALLYMKUN LAUGHS) - Time is on my side.
And why is it you wait for no man?
I just can't find the Time. (LAUGHING)
Chessur.
Where have you been? You're late.
Actually, I'm right on Time.
(LAUGHING)
I've got Time on my hand.
Do you silly nitwits...
really think that I have not heard
these cheap barbs before?
Your attempts at mockery fall flat.
Look. Time is flying.
Enough!
(BOTH GASPING)
No more wasting me.
I'm having the time of my life? (CHUCKLES)
Father, look.
A customer with a lovely head...
- right here. - Mmm...
What is the hat of your heart's desire, madam?
Something...
- feathery? - (SQUAWKS)
Something...
button-y?
Good afternoon, miss.
Good afternoon, sir.
The function of a hat is to
follow the proper dictum of society. Hmm?
Not to be fun.
Father...
I have something fun.
(GASPS)
What is it?
It's a hat.
Oh, Tarrant, you've got it on backwards.
- Stop. You'll ruin it. - Now, let me finish.
- Oh. - (GASPS)
Oh, dear.
Oh, well.
Tomorrow...
I'll show you precisely how to make a proper hat. Hmm?
(DOOR OPENS)
(HATTER SOBBING)
Tarrant?
You're too hard on him, Zanik.
Hatting is a serious business.
I can't have his frivolous ideas
keep him from his true potential.
Now.
Yes.
Yes, I think this hat will suit you...
perfectly.
Thank you ever so much, Mr Hightopp.
Although, I really must be on my way.
Have a lovely evening.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
ALICE: Where is she?
What are you doing?
Nothing.
When is she coming?
Uh...
HATTER: Well...
I never actually said she was coming...
old bean.
I merely said I had invited her.
(ALL LAUGHING)
THACKERY: Very good. Very clever.
Well played, sir.
Well played.
Thank you.
You were asking me before when "soon" is?
Let me try to explain when is now, all right?
Now is...
exactly 1 minute till tea time.
And until the young Alice joins you for tea...
it will always remain 1 minute till tea time...
for you and your...
dunderheads.
- Hmm? - Watch it.
Enjoy the present.
MALLYMKUN: I've seen him in his true light now, haven't I?
Time to go.
TIME: I must get the Chronosphere back.
She cannot be far away. (GRUNTS)
What a curious chap.
THACKERY: What a gentleman.
Bye bye.
(TIME GRUNTING)
I can't believe he just said that.
Can you?
Hmm.
(GRUNTS)
(GASPS)
I can't believe he just said that.
What?
THACKERY: Can't bloody move.
Wait! What's he done?
The blighter's stuck us all at 1 minute to tea time.
(GASPS)
Tea time forever!
(THACKERY SCREAMS)
Here you are, little ants.
A nice new home.
What did I tell you two?
No more tarts.
I didn't eat any tarts.
Why are these crusts under your bed?
She put them there.
Did you, Mirana?
You did. Tell her!
Tell the truth, Mirana.
Did you eat the tarts and put the crusts there?
No.
But you did! You're lying!
The tarts are under your bed.
Don't blame your sister.
No, it's not fair! It's not fair!
(YOUNG IRACEBETH PANTING)
(CLOCK CHIMING)
The stroke of 6!
(YOUNG IRACEBETH SOBBING)
(FROGS HUMMING)
The clock.
She'll hit her head!
- (ALICE GRUNTS) - (FROGS GROANING)
(SHRIEKS)
No!
(PEOPLE MURMURING)
My head. Ow.
Stupid roses.
FROG 1: Oh, the princess.
Oh, no.
(MURMURING CONTINUES)
Is your head all right, miss?
Careful. It's swelling up.
FROG 2: Oh, no.
QUEEN ELSEMERE: Iracebeth?
Iracebeth!
Where is she?
Oh, my darling!
- Daddy, my head hurts. - Arms around my neck.
Mirana!
MAN 1: Did you see that?
MAN 2: Yes. That's a nasty fall.
(MURMURING CONTINUES)
You cannot change the past.
TIME: Though I dare say, you might learn something from it.
HATTER: The first hat I ever made.
I thought I'd tossed it away long, long ago.
He kept it.
It's impossible for it to be here, and yet...
here it is.
So if this hat survived...
then my family must have too.
TIME: Higgens. Uh...
Highbottom.
Not here yet.
ALICE: No Hightopps.
They're alive.
They're alive!
Your foolishness...
astounds me.
You have no conception of how reckless...
you have been.
The dangers that you have caused.
- (TIME GROANING) - (ALICE GASPS)
(WILKINS SCREAMING)
What are we going to do?
Quick! Where's the manual? Who's got the manual?
(TICKING)
(TIME GROANING)
I need that Chronosphere now.
It must go back to the Grand Clock.
But Horunvendush Day.
I'll only use it one more time.
I must find out what happened to the Hightopps so I can rescue them.
You will rescue no one.
Wherever you go, I will find you.
The Grand Clock must not stop.
You cannot escape Time.
I'm sorry.
But I must save Hatter.
Alice! Alice!
Come back with my Chronosphere...
ALEXANDRA: (ECHOING) It's the Kingsleigh girl.
HAMISH: The girl's gone mad. Take her away.
DR ADDISON: Strap her down, lads.
HELEN: Alice?
Alice?
(DISTANT SCREAMING)
Where am I?
You're in an institution.
How long have I been here?
Not long.
You were found in an upstairs room at the Ascots'.
Hamish had you brought here.
You were behaving so strangely.
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
They say you were trying to get under the furniture.
Talking about the atmosphere?
(GASPS)
The Chronosphere!
Hatter!
Yes indeed, Miss Kingsleigh.
I've got to go back.
Now, let's see.
Excitable...
emotional, prone to fantasy.
(CHUCKLES) Textbook case of female hysteria.
Untreatable, some say.
I beg to differ.
But there's nothing wrong with me.
(WHISPERING) Lie back, Alice.
Lie back.
Dr Bennet, is it really necessary?
- Surely there must be some... - Mr Harris.
ALICE: I can't be here!
Mr Harris, if you could see to Mrs Kingsleigh.
- (GRUNTS) - I've got to go back!
DR ADDISON: We have work to do.
Never fear. We'll have Alice fixed in no time.
Where did I... (GRUNTS)
Dr Bennet, I really must object.
Alice.
- (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) - Run!
No!
HARRIS: Don't let her get away! Hurry!
(ALICE PANTING)
NURSE: Oh. Oh!
(BANGING ON DOOR)
If 3 years at sea taught me anything...
it's how to tie a bloody good knot.
- (ALICE GRUNTS) - (HORSES NEIGH)
Hey!
- That's my cab! - (URGES HORSES)
You can't take that!
ALICE: Sorry!
I plead insanity.
Hold on, Hightopps.
- (ROARING) - (GASPS)
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
Hightopps!
(ALICE PANTING)
(ALL WHIMPERING)
- (HIGHTOPPS SCREAMING) - (ALICE GASPS)
No!
(GASPS)
(STRUGGLING)
Revenge is mine.
She took them.
(JABBERWOCKY ROARING)
(IRACEBETH COOS)
(CACKLING)
Next time.
Hatter!
Your family, they're alive!
- (ALICE PANTING) - (TWEEDLEDUM SOBBING)
(SHUSHING)
He's barely ticking.
We fear you are too late.
Hatter!
MALLYMKUN: (GASPS) He's fading away.
I can't bear to see him like this.
Come, Mally. Say your goodbyes, Alice.
- Come on. - Yeah.
Please wake up, Hatter. Please.
Wake up.
Please wake up.
I know what this means now.
You made it for your father when you were young.
A token of your love which you thought he threw away.
But he kept it all those years.
He kept it.
And now he needs your help.
I'm so sorry.
I thought it was impossible.
I should have believed you.
(WEAKLY) You believe me?
I'll always believe in you.
It's you, isn't it?
I'd know you anywhere.
You're Alice.
Hatter.
I missed you so much.
So have I, dear.
But if my family's still alive...
why have they not come home?
Because they are being held captive...
by the only person cruel enough
to keep them locked up...
all these years.
- (NECK CRACKING) - (GROANS)
Bloody Big Head.
I'm going to find that Red Queen
and bring my family home.
IRACEBETH: Hello!
What do you think, pets?
Oh, dig, dig, dig. Work, work, work.
Earthquake. (LAUGHS)
(LOUD BOOM)
(TIME SCREAMING)
(GROANS)
Where the devil have you been?
Where's Alice?
Where's my Chronosphere?
Hmm?
She jumped into a looking glass.
She's gone.
- What? You let her get away? - No.
I must find her.
Where is she?
How should I know where she is?
Because she is your enemy.
She muttered...
an utterance about...
Hightopps.
She said she was going to rescue them.
What could this mean?
(GASPS)
I know exactly what that means.
Hmm?
Guards!
Seize him.
You see, from now on, dearest...
I'm in charge.
(GROWLS)
(McTWISP YELPING)
I've fallen off!
(THACKERY LAUGHS)
(SPITS)
IRACEBETH: (WHISPERS) Alice.
Mirana.
(GUARD GASPS)
Oh. Oh!
My family's there. I know it!
(McTWISP WHIMPERING)
HATTER: Good heavens!
THACKERY: Which way is up?
TWEEDLEDEE: Oh, there's a lot of stairs.
Is this where we...
Split up.
We'll split up together.
McTWISP: It is a very large castle.
Perhaps if we don't split up...
Oh, dear.
TWEEDLEDUM: I'm out of breath already.
TWEEDLEDEE: Mrs Hightopp?
(McTWISP WHIMPERS)
MIRANA: Hightopps? Hightopps?
THACKERY: Zoinks!
(MALLYMKUN SCREAMS)
(GASPS) Ooh.
TWEEDLEDEE: This one's locked.
This one, too.
(BOTH SCREAMING)
ALICE: This is the last room.
HATTER: They must be this way.
I just know it.
Father? Mother?
Anyone?
They're not here?
They're not here.
But I was certain that they were here.
I could feel it.
I'm so sorry.
- Father! - (HIGHTOPPS CHEERING)
Mother!
Everyone, it's you!
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
Teeny-tiny you, but still you.
(GASPS)
Hello, Alice.
Ahh!
Get it!
ALICE: (STRUGGLING) No!
Thank you ever so much.
You have just delivered to me
the most powerful device in the entire universe.
Along with your dearest friends.
And my dearest enemy.
(STRUGGLING)
Racie!
Shut up!
(GUARD GRUNTS)
McTWISP: I knew we should have stayed together.
Now look at us.
Stuck in a giant vegetable jail.
(TIME GROANS)
What happened to you?
ALICE: Wait! Your Majesty, stop!
You cannot change the past. Believe me, I have tried.
Oh, Alice, you always were an irksome,
slurvish, interrupting thing.
When I get back...
I shall have the heads of all your friends.
And then I shall have your head. Ta-ta.
(LAUGHS)
- Come on. - (WHIMPERS)
Don't let her see herself.
Or else she will destroy everything!
(GRUNTS)
I now recall why I don't like her.
- (RUMBLING) - (GUARDS WHIMPERING)
(YELPING)
(GROANS)
"How to Keep the Clock Going Yourself."
Of course!
Seconds, Minutes...
Proceed to 347!
It's time...
for the Hour!
(TIME GROANING)
ALICE: It's Time.
Oh, this is all my fault.
I stole the Chronosphere.
I think you may have to steal it again.
(SIGHS)
She ate my schnozzle.
(BOTH GASP)
"And my fingers..."
"...and my elbow!"
Thank you.
I think you look rather fetching
without your schnozzle.
Absolutely radishing.
(CHUCKLES) Stop it.
What are we going to do?
Yeah, what's the plan?
It's up to you now, Alice.
Take Time to his castle.
Hatter and I will retrieve the Chronosphere...
and restore order to the universe.
Do you understand?
- Yes, of course! - Got it.
What are you waiting for? Let's go!
(BOTH GRUNTING)
MIRANA: Where are we?
You know where we are.
QUEEN ELSEMERE: Why are these crusts under your bed?
She put them there.
QUEEN ELSEMERE: Did you, Mirana?
Did you, Mirana?
YOUNG IRACEBETH: You did.
Tell her!
Tell the truth, Mirana.
Did you eat the tarts and put the crusts there?
- YOUNG MIRANA: No. - No.
- Racie, no! - You're a liar!
Liar! You're lying!
(SCREAMS)
(GASPING)
(BOTH GROAN)
This cannot be good.
We've got to go now!
(TIME BREATHING HEAVILY)
(ALL WHIMPERING)
She has broken the past.
Only putting back the Chronosphere
can save us now!
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
It's catching up.
(ALICE GRUNTS)
(HATTER AND MIRANA SCREAM)
(MIRANA WHIMPERS)
Ooh.
Uh, Alice?
Hold on, everyone.
I don't wanna hold on!
The Chronosphere!
She brought it back! Oh!
(McTWISP GASPS)
Run, Alice!
They might actually pull this off.
(SCREAMS)
Follow me. This way.
I've got you, wee man. (LAUGHS)
Oh...
(PANTING) Tick-tock, tick-tock.
Gotta save the Grand Clock.
I won't leave you.
(GASPS)
Sir, sir! Hold on, sir! She's here!
The girl who tricked you
and made you look a complete idiot!
(HATTER WHIMPERING)
(YELPS) Alice!
Hatter!
- Oh. - (ALL WHIMPERING)
Goodbye, Brother.
Brother, goodbye.
I have cherished every moment with all of you.
(GROWLS)
On guard!
Time's up.
She's not going to make it!
She needs more time, sir!
I have not ticked my last tock yet!
(GROANING)
(GASPING)
It appears...
that my invincible machine...
No!
...is in fact...
vincible.
(ALICE GRUNTS)
(CRACKLING)
(GASPING)
(SIGHS)
My goodness.
(SECONDS CHEERING)
Did I miss anything?
Are you all right?
Yes.
Wilkins.
Wilkins!
- Wilkins! - Yes, sir.
Oh! There you are.
Stop standing around.
There is much to do, hmm?
(SIGHS) You don't need a butler, do you, miss?
TIME: Wilkins!
They did it! They did it!
Hooray, Alice! I always liked that girl.
Get off me!
Ugh.
(SOBS) Why does this always happen to me?
Why does no one love me?
I love you, Racie.
No, you don't!
(SNIFFLES)
This is all your fault.
I know.
(VOICE BREAKING) I ate the tarts and I lied about it.
I should have just told the truth, and none of this would have ever happened.
I'm so sorry.
If it's not too late...
please forgive me.
That's all I ever wanted to hear.
Really, it was.
Mmm...
HATTER: Your Majesty...
I do beg pardon for any intrusion.
My family find themselves...
in somewhat awkward circumstances.
Of course.
I always liked tiny things.
HATTER: Thank you.
Not too much now. Be careful.
(HIGHTOPPS EXCLAIMING)
Outstanding, my boy. Well done.
Oh, my family.
My dear family.
Mother.
You, Father.
You kept my blue hat.
I make hats, Father.
I'm a hatter.
I always knew you were, my boy.
(CLOCKS TICKING)
All is well.
Yes?
I know you tried to warn me.
But I didn't listen.
I'm sorry.
I used to think Time was a thief...
stealing everything I loved.
But I see now that you give before you take.
And every day is a gift.
Every hour, every minute, every second.
TIME: Ah.
The fallen soldier.
I suppose you want me to fix it.
No.
I want you to have it.
He used to say the only thing worth doing...
was what we do for others.
I think he would have liked you.
Hmm?
It is said that Time is a friend to no man.
But I will remember you always.
And please...
do not come back.
(PANTING) Alice.
Oh, Alice.
You simply must come and meet my family.
After all, you are the very person
who saved them, aren't you?
We're going to have so much fun together.
Oh.
But, of course, you have a family of your own...
don't you?
Very important thing, a family.
You only get the one.
Oh, Hatter.
I fear I may never see you again.
My dear Alice.
In the gardens of memory...
in the palace of dreams...
that is where you and I will meet.
But a dream is not reality.
Who's to say which is which?
You did it, Alice.
An impossible thing.
Not as impossible as saying goodbye to you, my friends.
Goodbye, Hatter.
Goodbye, Alice.
HAMISH: Now, please.
The deed to your husband's ship.
Just sign here...
and the house is yours.
(SIGHS)
Mr Harcourt...
time is money.
I'm afraid he most certainly is not.
Alice!
Time is many things, Hamish, but he isn't money.
Nor is he our enemy, Mother.
Where did you come from?
I walked right through the walls.
- Poof! - (JAMES CHUCKLES)
I may not be able to change the past,
but I can learn from it.
Sign the papers, Mother.
You want me to sign them?
But what about the Wonder?
It's just a ship. There's always another.
But you are my mother, and I only have one.
So you've decided to be a clerk?
I knew that you would.
Headstrong or not.
(HAMISH LAUGHING)
(SLAMS)
You're not a nice man, Hamish.
I'm glad my daughter didn't marry you.
Mrs Kingsleigh.
Mrs Kingsleigh! No, you can't!
You can't! You can't!
Alice can do whatever Alice chooses.
And so can I.
Good day.
Mother!
(DOOR SLAMS)
(COUGHS)
(TICKING)
HELEN: Higher.
Higher.
Perfect! Thank you, gentlemen.
We'll run the Ascots out of business in a year.
Mother!
A full cargo aboard, Captain.
Shall we commence with
Kingsleigh and Kingsleigh's maiden voyage?
Time and tide wait for no man, Mr Harcourt.
Or, indeed, woman.
JAMES: Captain aboard.
Full sail.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
I know that I'm running out of time
I want it all Mmm, mmm
And I'm wishing they'd stop trying to turn me off
I want it on Mmm, mmm
And I'm walking on a wire Trying to go higher
Feels like I'm surrounded by clowns and liars
Even when I give it all away
I want it all Mmm, mmm
We came here to run it
Run it, run it
Just like fire, burning out the way
If I can light the world up for just one day
Watch this madness, colourful charade
No one can be just like me anyway
Just like magic I'll be flying free
I'mma disappear when they come for me
I'll kick that ceiling What you gonna say?
No one can be just like me anyway
And people like to laugh at you
cause they are all the same
Mmm, mmm
See I would rather we just go our different way
than play the game
Mmm, mmm
And no matter the weather We can do it better
You and me together Forever and ever
We don't have to worry 'bout a thing, 'bout a thing
No
We came here to run it
Run it, run it
We came here to run it
Run it, run it
Oh!
Just like magic I'll be flying free
I'mma disappear when they come for me
I'll kick that ceiling What you gonna say?
No one can be just like me anyway
Just like fire, fire
Run it, run it
We came here to run it
Run it, run it
(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
THACKERY: Time to go.
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